These Days
by lady malynn
Summary: 2X5 YAOI Wufei and Duo have had a good life together for eight years. But now it's falling apart, and Wufei can't understand why. Rated for language and the abuse of alcohol.
1. These Days

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gundam Wing! I do NOT claim to own them. I'm just borrowing with every intent to return. I also don't own the song. Bon Jovi does.

This has floated around in my head for a while. It's angstish, but 99 of what I write is. Hope you likes!

**These Days**

_I was walking around, just a face in the crowd,_

_Trying to keep myself out of the rain._

_Saw a vagabond king wear a Styrofoam crown,_

_Wandered if I might end up the same._

_There's a man out on the corner, singing old songs about change._

_Everybody got their cross to bare, these days._

_She came looking for some shelter, with a suitcase full of dreams_

_To a hotel room on the boulevard, _

_Guess she's trying to be James Dean._

_She's seen all the disciples and all the 'wanna be's' _

_No one wants to be themselves these days_

_Still there's nothing to hold on to but these days_

Duo drowned the rest of his Jack and Coke and threw a tip in the jar after paying his tab. It was well passed one on a Friday night, but the club was still jumping with sloshed patrons. He shouldered his way through the crowds and out into the cooling night. He swayed slightly as he walked, but didn't feel like hailing a cab. This had become routine. Every Friday and Saturday he graced the club with his presence. On other nights he settled for drinking at home. It had become the only thing that kept him going through the day.

The streets of downtown were filled with drunks and druggies, all searching for the same thing he was. Mindlessness. Looking forward to that moment where reality disappeared under the weight of intoxication. Their eyes said the same thing as his own: There was nothing left to hope for.

He had fought for peace. He had had dreams of what it would feel like. But in the end, it was not what he'd hoped it would be. He was empty. His cell phone rang and he looked down to the screen to see who was calling. With a grimace he flipped it open.

"Yeah."

"Where are you?"

Duo looked up to the nearest street sign. "Court Street."

A sigh. "I just got a very worried phone call from your boyfriend."

Duo sat on a bench and tilted his head back. "He knows where I am. There's no reason for him to worry."

"Duo, he said you've been drinking every night. You're turning into an alcoholic."

Duo barked a drunken laugh. "Drunk."

"What?"

"Alcoholics go to meetings."

There was silence for a moment. "Maybe you should."

"And get the pleasure of having people I don't know, don't think I care to know, stare at me as I say: Hello, my name is Duo Maxwell? Nope, don't think so, Heero. Mind your own business." He pushed from the bench and continued toward home.

"You're my friend, Duo. You are my business. And what about Wufei?"

Duo groaned and kicked some trash on the sidewalk. "What about him?"

"Duo-"

"Just stop already. You sound like a nagging mother." He looked up to the night sky. "Are you happy, Heero?"

There was a pause as the quick topic change startled his friend. "Yeah, I guess."

"How?" Duo started down the street where he and Wufei lived. "Look around, Heero. What's left for us?"

"To live."

"Live." Duo looked up to the two bedroom house from the shadows. Wufei stood in the window, arms crossed over his chest. A pang of guilt ran through Duo. Wufei looked tired, and Duo knew it wasn't just physical. Duo wanted to see what they did. Where did they find hope? Where was the good? The war was over, but it never really ended. Theft, murders, rapes. It all still continued. It seemed civilization was falling apart at the seems and half the world and the colonies just chose to ignore it. Duo stepped into the light and Wufei looked at him. Those same onyx eyes that used to hold Duo captivated. The same face that had made Duo's chest clench and pulse race. But now, he felt nothing.

"What is there to live for, Heero?" He hung up and moved up the steps. Wufei met him at the door, searching his eyes. Duo didn't know if his lover found what he was looking for, but shutters seemed to fall over black eyes and Wufei silently went to the guest bedroom and shut the door. With mild regret, Duo padded to their bedroom and passed out on top of the comforter.

_These days – the stars seem out of reach_

_These days – there ain't a ladder on the streets_

_These days – are fast, love don't last in this graceless age_

_There ain't nobody left but us these days_

When Duo woke, the sun was shining brightly through the open curtains and he could hear Wufei rummaging through pots in the kitchen. He rolled over and looked at the clock. Just passed ten. He usually hated sleeping late, but made exceptions on the weekends. He took a shower and brushed the foul taste from his mouth before going to the kitchen.

Wufei stood leaning on the counter, eyes fixed out the window. A barely touch cup of tea was quickly cooling on the table. They stood in silence, both painfully aware of the others presence. Duo frowned slightly.

"Why are you wearing your uniform?"

Wufei turned and grabbed the tea from the table, putting it in the sink. "Une called Heero and me into work. I'll be gone a few days." He looked up to Duo as he was about to leave the kitchen. "Can you…" A small sad smile came to his lips and fell quickly. "I'll see you when I get back."

Duo stood, leaning against the wall as Wufei grabbed his back and left the house. Duo couldn't quite explain the feeling in his chest as Wufei walked silently out the door. For the first two years of their relationship, neither would leave to even run to the store without telling the other they loved them. When had that changed? Duo couldn't remember the last time he'd told Wufei he loved him. He turned and walked aimlessly about the house. Hundreds of memories flooding his mind. The day the moved in. The parties they'd had with the other pilots and all their friends. The quiet moments he and Wufei had spent curled up on the sofa. He shook his head. The memories were pointless. They were just moments spent trying to fill the void that was existence. That's all….Wasn't it?"

_Jimmy shoes busted both his legs, trying to learn to fly_

_From a second story window, he just jumped and closed his eyes_

_His momma said he was crazy – he said momma, "I've got to try"_

_Don't you know that all my heroes died_

_And I guess I'd rather die than fade away_

Heero leaned against the wall of the warehouse. Wufei was a few feet away keeping a lookout. Now they just had to find the men who were collecting all these weapons. Everything had gone so well, until the man in charge tried to run. Heero followed him up the stairs to the roof. Wufei and several other Preventers had the rest of the gang in custody. Gun shots rang out from the roof and Wufei looked up sharply, onyx eyes widening in horror and Heero and the man toppled over the edge of the roof. The culprit landed on the ground with a thud. Wufei looked up to see Heero hanging precariously on the ledge, trying to pull himself back up. Blood dripped from a wound in his stomach and his arms shook and he pulled with all his might. Wufei knew he'd never make it in time, but he ran as quickly as he could and reached the ledge just as Heero's fingers gave out. He grabbed Heero's wrist and glazed blue eyes looked up to him. Wufei pulled him up as gently as possible and laid him down. Wufei ripped off his shirt and pressed it into Heero's stomach.

"Medic!" Wufei screamed. "Hold on, Heero. Help is on the way."

Heero coughed and blood dribbled down his chin. "It's…ok, Fei."

Wufei looked up into his pale face. "Don't you dare give up on me, Yuy. Blowing up your gundam didn't kill you. I'll be damned if I let you die from a stupid gunshot wound."

Heero sucked in as much breath as he could. "Isn't…your…fault."

"Just, save your strength." Wufei looked up as paramedics came on to the roof. "You'll be fine."

Heero smiled softly and Wufei almost cried at the sight. It was still rare to see Heero smile, and it was a precious vision to his friends. "We need you, Heero. Duo needs you. Please, just fight with all you've got." He moved aside to let the medics work on Heero.

The Japanese Preventer nodded to Wufei. "I always…do."

_These days – the stars seem out of reach_

_But these days – there ain't a ladder on the streets_

_These days are fast, nothing lasts – in this graceless age_

_Even innocence has caught the midnight train_

_And there ain't nobody left but us these days_

_I know Rome's still burning_

_Though the times have changed_

_This world keeps turning round and round and round and round, these days_

Wufei was pacing the waiting room as Quatre and Trowa came racing in. "Wufei. How is he?"

"In surgery. They haven't said anything to me, yet."

Quatre sat Wufei down and Trowa went to get him some coffee. The blonde sat next to Wufei. "What happened?"

"I don't know. He was following the leader to bring him into custody. Next thing I knew they were on the roof and Heero was shot. They both fell over the edge." Wufei dropped his face to his hands. "If he'd have fallen, he never would have made it."

"He didn't fall." Quatre looked around. "Where's Duo?"

Wufei heaved a sigh. "I don't know. I couldn't reach him. He's not answering his cell."

Quatre pursed his lips, but decided he'd talk to Duo later. It was almost an hour before the surgeon came out to speak with them. Wufei sighed in relief when he said it was a success and that they could go see Heero. It was a discomfiting thing to see the Perfect Soldier so pale and still in the sterile room. Trowa had seen Heero in a state close to that, so it wasn't quite as hard on him. Wufei sat next to the bed and stared at the machines hooked up to his friend. The room was silent as they waited for Heero to wake up.

Finally, blue eyes peeked open and Heero looked over to them. "Hey, guys."

"Heero." Quatre smiled with tears in his eyes. "Don't you ever scare me like that again."

Wufei nodded his agreement. "It was close, Heero. That bullet hit you lung. You're lucky to be alive."

Heero shook his head. "Luck had nothing to do with it. Where's Duo?"

"On his way." Wufei frowned at Trowa and the taller man shrugged. "I finally reached him when I went to get some more coffee."

Wufei looked down to the ground, anger building in his chest. "Where was he?"

"Home. He said he never heard his phone ring."

The door burst open and a haggard Duo came into the room, eyes wild and hair falling out of his braid. Wufei turned to Heero. "I'm going to get some air. I'll be back." He brushed passed Duo without a word.

"Fei?"

Wufei froze, but didn't look back. "I hope you took a cab. It's illegal and stupid to drive while drunk."

Duo looked back into the room as Wufei disappeared down the hall. The looks Quatre and Trowa gave him were conflicting. Trowa looked angry while Quatre looked like he pitied the state his friend had dropped to. Duo ignored both of them and moved to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot."

Duo snorted. "I guess getting shot will do that to you."

Heero took Duo's hand. "You're screwing up, baka."

"Not now, Heero. Do you really think this is the place?"

Heero's lips twitched slightly. "Surely you won't ignore me while I'm in my hospital bed." The semi-smile faded. "How bad do you have to hurt him before you'll wake up?"

Duo looked away. "I'm not trying to hurt him."

"You don't have to try." Quatre whispered. "When you hurt, he does. He loves you."

"Then he should stop. What's the point? Look around, Quatre. Did what we went through have any meaning? People still kill others. They still look for ways to hurt others. They didn't learn anything. It seems everything is falling apart around us and no one even notices. There's no war to fight, but the crime rate is on the rise. It all seems so stupid and a waste of time! Why are we even still trying?"

"Because, there are still things to live for." Heero said, pointedly trying to answer Duo's question from the last time they had talked. "Love. Those times spent with friends and your loved ones. Those are times to cherish, Duo. Think of all those memories we have of the good times. Don't they give you some sense of fulfillment?"

Duo thought for a moment and frowned. Shouldn't he have had some sort of reaction? Some sign that he was alive? But he didn't. He felt nothing. "No."

"Is that really how you feel?" Duo looked to the door. Wufei was leaning against the frame. Watching him with a closed expression, but his eyes couldn't completely mask his hurt. "Does our time together mean nothing to you?"

Duo wanted to feel something, but he never lied and Wufei would have known the truth anyway. "It used to. Now… I don't feel anything." The room seemed to start spinning and Duo brushed passed his lover. "I don't know how to anymore."

_These days – the stars seem out of reach_

_But these days – there ain't a ladder on the streets_

_These days are fast, nothing lasts – in this graceless age_

_Even innocence has caught the midnight train_

_And there ain't nobody left but us these days_

_These days – the stars seem out of reach_

_But these days – there ain't a ladder on the streets_

_These days are fast, nothing lasts _

_There ain't no time to waste_

_There ain't nobody left to take the blame_

_There ain't nobody left but us these days_

Tbc…

R&R Pretty please


	2. Hearts Breaking Even

Thanks for the review, Codan. I hope this is quick enough, please don't kill me. And thank you Gaelle, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last!I so appreciate happy reviewers!

Disclaimer: Don't own GW, nor the song. Both belong to respective owners, creators, writers. Sadness abounds. Hope ya enjoy!

**Hearts Breaking Even**

Duo stared across the table at Wufei. They both knew they needed to talk, but neither had a clue where to begin. Duo fiddled with his fingers, trying to calm his trembling hands. Man, he needed a drink. Wufei cleared his throat.

"Heero gets out of the hospital tomorrow."

"Yeah." It was an inane observation, the same as anything else they had said that week. They had pretty much avoided much conversation, keeping away from each other; but they couldn't keep going like that. Duo looked up to the ceiling. "Look, this was a mistake-"

Onyx eyes flared. "A mistake? That's a horrible way to refer to the best eight years of my life." Wufei reached for Duo's hands. "We used to be happy. What changed between us?"

Duo pulled from Wufei's grasp and went to the fridge. "It just fell apart, Fei. Things like this happen all the time."

"Not to us." Wufei whispered. "Something happened, and I need to know what so we can fix it. We can't just give up."

Duo grabbed a beer and downed half of it. "Maybe we should."

"How can you say that?" Wufei jumped from the table and grabbed the beer from Duo. "This doesn't solve anything!"

"I'm not looking for a solution!"

"I KNOW! That's the problem! You just keep running away. Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?"

Duo grabbed the beer back. "It's none of your business." He finished it and threw it away before grabbing another and heading to the living room. Wufei followed.

"If it isn't your lover's business, then whose business is it?"

Duo laughed mirthlessly. "Can you even still call us that? I don't even remember the last time we were together."

Wufei's head snapped as if he'd been punched and he dropped to the sofa. "It was four months ago. The night of Quatre's birthday party. We snuck up to the observation level of the office building and made love while looking up at the stars. Even then, there was something wrong. You seemed so agitated…" Wufei looked down to the floor. "But it was okay, because you were still with me, still looking for me to love you." The living room fell to silence as they both thought of that night. After several minutes, Wufei looked up. "You don't want me anymore, do you?" It was the hardest question he'd ever asked of someone.

Duo's back stiffened and he looked down into Wufei's eyes. "No." He turned and went to their bedroom and packed some things. Wufei didn't bother to stop him as he left. Why try? Why keep hoping for a love that was over? Duo was clear. He didn't love Wufei anymore.

_It's a cold, cold, cold, cold night tonight_

_And I can't get you out of my mind_

_God knows I've tried_

_Did I throw away the best part of my life_

_When I cut you off, did I cut myself with the same damn knife_

_Hide my tears in the pouring rain, had my share of hurt and pain_

_Don't say my name, run away, 'cause it's all in vain_

_My hearts breaking even, now there's no use we even try_

_Hey I cried, yeah I lied, hell I almost died_

_Don't got a reason, lets just fold the cards and say good-bye_

_It's all right, just two hearts breaking even tonight_

Duo sat at the bar, not even sure what city he was in, or state for that matter. He didn't really care. He'd just finished his third drink and started on his fourth when a drunk middle aged woman sat next to him, smiling with bright red lips that made her look like a clown. He gave her a flat stare before looking back over the counter.

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you looking for company?"

Duo turned clouded violet eyes back to her. "Do I look like I want company?"

"You just seemed sad. I could cheer you up."

Duo snorted. "Try someone else, lady. You're way too female for me." He turned back to his drink. Wufei's face flashed through his mind and an ache of loneliness stabbed through him. The Chinese man was all he wanted, all he'd ever needed. The two months since he'd been gone had only heightened his understanding that he needed Wufei. He knew the truth when he left. But he just couldn't bring himself to do it to him anymore. He killed Wufei a little more every day. He grew tired of watching those passionate eyes dim. He didn't want to see Wufei become as cold as he was.

_It's been a long, long, long, long time_

_Since I've had your love here in my hands_

_We didn't understand it, couldn't understand it_

_But, nothing's fair in love and hate,_

_You lay it all down and walk away, before it's too late_

_We danced all night as the music played,_

_The sheets got tangled in the mess we made_

_There in the stains, we remain,_

_No one left to blame_

_My hearts breaking even, now there's no use we even try_

_Hey I cried, yeah I lied, hell I almost died_

_Don't got a reason, let's just fold the cards and say good-bye _

_It's all right, just two hearts breaking even tonight_

Wufei tilted his glass of tea back and forth, watching as the dark brew swirled around the rim of the cup. Rain poured outside the window. On a Saturday like this, he and Duo used to just stay in bed all day. Cuddling and dozing as the TV played softly in the background. A sigh escaped him as he dropped his forehead to the table. Two months. The house they had bought together now seemed like a prison of silence and loneliness. He had decided to let Duo go. He knew it was the right thing to do. Then, why did it hurt so damn bad? Why was his heart crashing with the pain of missing someone who didn't care anymore?

The sound of the cup shattering against the wall startled Wufei, as if he didn't realize he'd thrown it until the noise woke him up. Why did it hurt so bad? Because he still cared. Because even with the problems, he still wanted to wake up with Duo in his arms. He loved him. He wanted him. When the braided man hurt, he wanted to be the salve to heal the wounds. When Duo cried, he wanted to wipe away those tears. But if Duo was gone, how could he do those things?

Wufei grabbed the phone on a whim of desperation and dialed Duo's cell. After several rings a wary voice picked up.

"Fei?"

Onyx eyes closed. "Duo."

"Why are you calling?"

Wufei ran his hand through his hair. "Come home, Duo."

He heard a grunt. "Fei, what's the point? We can't be together anymore."

"But why? I don't understand. Tell me what I did wrong, and I'll fix it. Tell me where I failed you and I'll try harder."

There was a short laugh that sounded more like a sob. "It isn't you. You didn't do anything wrong."

Wufei groaned. "Then what's the problem? We can work through this, Baby. Whatever you need-"

"No! Just let it go, Chang. It's over."

The line went dead and Wufei stared at the receiver. _Chang_. Duo had never called him by his last name. It was 'Wuffers' or 'Wuman' or something equally ridiculous until they got together. And then it was 'Fei'. Although he'd never said so, Wufei had loved to hear Duo call him that. It had always sounded so personal, so loving. Now it rang cold in his ears.

_Go on, get on with your life, Yeah – I'll get on with mine_

_Broken hearts can't call the cops, yeah, it's the perfect crime_

_Twisting and turning the night keeps me yearning_

_I'm burning alive_

_I'm paying the price again_

_But I'll see the light again_

Wufei pushed from the table and cleaned up the broken ceramic on the floor. Fine then. He would move on. He'd pick up the broken pieces of his life just as he cleaned up the tea cup. As he threw it in the trash, he smirked. That's probably where he'd end up, too. It had taken him and Duo a long time to get together, both had been so scared of that level of commitment. Trusting another person with your heart was a lot harder and frightening than facing thirty armed soldiers with nothing but your bare hands. But they had done it, and after so many years, Wufei had been so sure they'd made the right decision.

Now, he remembered full well why he had been so tentative in the first place. Well, he'd never make that mistake again. A knock came to the door as he finished cleaning the tea off the floor. He answered it and allowed Heero into the apartment.

"What brings you here?"

Heero sat on the coffee table and settled Wufei on the couch in front of him. "You look awful."

Wufei looked away. "It's really over, Heero."

"What?"

"I called him… I give up, Heero."

Heero shook his head. "Wufei, I just found out some disturbing information. I think you need to hear it."

_My hearts breaking even, now there's no use we even try_

_Hey I cried, yeah I lied, hell I almost died_

_Don't got a reason, let's just fold the cards and say good-bye_

_It's all right, just two hearts breaking even tonight_

Tbc…


	3. This Ain't A Love Song

Two reviews, YAY! Thank y'all so much for the encouragement. I wasn't too terribly sure about this fic at the beginning to be honest, so I can't tell you how much it means that y'all like it. I just hope you don't want to kill me after this part. Oh, a bit more language in this chapter, but due to the nature I thought it appropriate. Anyhoo, here's the third chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own song or character. Le sigh.

**This Ain't a Love Song**

_I should have seen it coming when the roses died_

_Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes_

_I should've listened when you said good night_

_You really meant goodbye_

_Baby, ain't it funny how we never ever learn to fall_

_You're really on your knees, when you're standing tall_

_But only fools are know-it-all's and I played that fool for you_

_I cried and I cried, there were nights that I died for you, baby_

_I tried and I tried to deny your love drove me crazy_

_If the love that I got for you is gone,_

_If the river I cried ain't that long_

_Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song_

Wufei sat silently in the passenger seat as Heero drove them to Preventer Headquarters. When Heero had told him the truth, Wufei had shaken his head in shocked disbelief. There was no way Une would have done that. Surely, she didn't…But the look in Heero's eyes was certain. Wufei had dropped his head to his hands and cried. He cried for the love he and Duo had shared, for the joy and peace they had found. And he cried for the horrendous way it was torn from them.

All those moments of anxiety, Duo's descent into depression, the haunted look in his violet eyes, it all made sense now. Wufei was partly to blame, he would not deny that; and he was already answering for that. But Une had plunged the knife into his lover's heart long before he had twisted it, and she would answer for that.

He jumped from the car and stormed through the building, ignoring the strange looks he received. He also ignored Une's secretary's protests as he barged into her office. She looked up startled as he slammed his hands on her desk and glared at her.

"How dare you?" It was not how he had planned it. He was going to ask her very calmly what she had done and listen to her side of things. But his anger had grown and he couldn't seem to contain it.

She blinked. "What?"

Wufei ground his teeth. "Duo."

That single word held so much in it that Une sat back in her chair, hoping to put some distance between herself and Wufei. "It was imperative to the mission."

"Impera- Are you insane! How could you order Duo, of all people, to seduce someone and then blow up an orphanage? Damn it, woman. Have you no heart? Hasn't he been through enough?"

Une looked away. "It wasn't as if he had to sleep with the man and there were no children in the orphanage. It was abandoned a long time ago and-"

"I don't give a shit about your excuses." He pushed away from the desk. "You have no idea what you've done to him. Do you know how long it took him to get through his guilt over the Maxwell Church Massacre? Do you know how hard he fought to keep himself pure in that rat hole of a colony? He watched his friends sidle up to strangers, seducing them for money and he swore he would never put on airs when it came to sex. I was the only person he'd ever touched!"

Une's eyes looked beyond Wufei. "Yuy, would you please take Chang somewhere to calm him down?"

Heero shook his head. "I'm just here to make sure he doesn't kill you."

She pursed her lips and reached for her phone, but Wufei grabbed her wrist. "If an agent has a valid reason to be removed from a case, then he/she should present his/her request and a replacement will be found." He quoted verbatim from the Preventer handbook. "Mental trauma is listed among the valid reasons and Heero told me he found the request form Duo submitted. Why did you deny his request?"

"The drugs these people were manufacturing were deadly. They tripped dangerous emotions in people. The leader had a fondness for effeminate males with long hair. Duo was the best candidate."

Wufei grabbed the collar of her uniform. "You… you turned him into a whore for a mission. Is that what you're telling me? I can't believe he didn't flat out refuse."

She grimaced and looked away. "He tried. I told him he would be fired if didn't do it."

"You heartless bitch!" He shoved her back into her seat and stormed from the office. Heero following him closely, worried about his friend's angered condition. Wufei was angry and hurt, and Heero was worried he'd breakdown before he could calm down.

She jumped up and followed him. "Chang, I had no choice. You don't understand."

"NO! You don't understand, or you'd have never done that!" His fists clenched and he felt a very strong urge to break something, preferably the woman's neck.

"Wufei? What's going on?"

He turned to Sally. "Do you have any idea what that bitch has done?" He pointed at Une. "She might as well have sold his soul to the devil himself." He groaned and rubbed his face. "Oh, God, Heero, she took him from me. Ripped him out of my arms and crushed him." Tears poured down Wufei's face in torrents, but he didn't notice. They weren't enough to release the pain in his heart.

Blue eyes darkened as they turned back to Une. "Are you sure you're fit for this position?"

She took a step back. The entire office had fallen into deadly silence as looks of confusion and anger focused on Une. She stepped back and returned to her office as Heero grabbed Wufei's arm and lead him from the building.

_Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time_

_Like we got away with the perfect crime_

_But we were just a legend in my mind_

_I guess that I was blind_

_Remember those nights of dancing at the masquerade_

_The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade _

_You and I were the renegades, guess some things never change _

Wufei didn't even notice where they were going until Heero sat him down on the couch in his living room. Wufei looked around the house he and Duo had shared.

(Duo turned around on the ladder, looking down at Wufei. Silver paint covered his hands and speckled his face. "Hey, Fei?"

Wufei looked up from the trim he was working on. "Hm?"

"I think we're going to need a whole lot more paint. It'll take more than two coats."

Wufei looked around the room. "Yeah. Why did you have to pick the most expensive kind they had?"

Duo pouted. "Because it looks so cool. You said you liked it."

Wufei forced his lips from curving upward and he looked back to his lover. "Hm, well, it's all right I suppose. It might help if you got more on the wall than you did on yourself, you know."

Duo's lips twitched and he slowly stepped down the ladder. Not quite trusting the look in those violet eyes, Wufei rose to his feet and backed away, hands in front of himself. "Now, Duo. Don't you think you should put the brush down if you're not at the wall?"

Perfectly arched eyebrows raised. "You mean this?"

Wufei tried to duck under the brush, but Duo had managed to throw one arm around his shoulders and swiped the brush down Wufei's hair. It was childish and immature, but at that moment, they didn't care. By the time they were finished, very few parts of them weren't silver. Quatre and Trowa came in at that moment, with raised eyebrows.

"I thought we were painting the living room." The blonde said with a laugh.

Duo shrugged. "We were, but Wufei looks good in silver, doncha think?")

The memory faded. That had been one of those days where nothing special happened exactly, but the purity of the moment had made it a memory worth holding on to. It had been the start of a surety in Wufei's mind that they would make it. That his fears had been unfounded. Heero went to the kitchen and made Wufei some tea. He took the cup silently and held it in his hands.

"It wasn't supposed to end like this, Heero. After all those years… Damn it. There's no way to go back. I can't undo what happened. I can't ease his pain. I can't do anything to help him." He looked up to Heero. "We don't even know where he is."

_It made me so mad cause I wanted it bad for us baby_

_Now it's so sad that whatever we had ain't worth saving_

_If the love that I got for you is gone,_

_If the river I cried ain't that long_

_Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song_

Duo laid on his back, staring up at what he could see of the night sky through the tall buildings. He felt blood pooling around him and wanted to move out of the sticky wetness. His legs were twisted at odd angles and he though they should have hurt, being in that position. But strangely enough, he didn't feel anything. Tears leaked from his eyes. More than anything, at that moment, he wanted Wufei. He'd gladly tell his lover everything and beg his forgiveness, just if he would hold him one last time. But there was no way to reach him. They had taken his keys, his wallet and his phone. Now he really had nothing left.

"Fei… I need you."

Cool hands touched his face. "Hold on, son. An ambulance is on the way."

He looked up into the face of an older man. He looked kind and worried. "S'awright… Let me go."

The man frowned. "You're too young to give up, kid."

Duo gurgled a weak laugh. "I'm 26."

The man looked mildly surprised, but shook it off. "That's still very young to give up on life."

"I'm tired…jus' want it to end."

He nodded. "I understand how it can feel, but surely you have something to live for."

Sirens echoed down the street and Duo's eyes slipped shut. "He'd never take me back."

_If the pain that I'm feeling so strong_

_Is the reason, I'm holding on_

_Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong – this ain't a love song_

_I cried and I cried _

_There were nights that I died for you baby_

_I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby_

"Wufei!" Quatre banged on the Chinese man's door. "Open up, Wufei. I know you're there."

Wufei opened the door and leaned against it. "Quatre, what's wrong?"

The blonde was gasping for breath. "Get dressed."

"Where are we going?"

Quatre pulled Wufei to the bedroom and began pulling out clothes to hurry his friend up. "We found Duo. Please, Wufei, we need to hurry."

_If the love that I got for you is gone,_

_If the river I cried ain't that long_

_Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song_

_If the pain that I'm feeling so strong_

_Is the reason, I'm holding on_

_Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong – this ain't a love song_

Wufei held Duo's hand to his forehead, elbows resting on the edge of the bed. The American had been unconscious for almost a week and the doctors hadn't seemed to hopeful that he would wake up. Wufei had not left the hospital since he arrived. He brushed chestnut bangs back from the heart shaped face. "I'm here, Duo. I'll always be here."

_Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong – this ain't a love song_

_Then I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong – this ain't a love song_

_Then I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong – this ain't a love song_

Tbc…

Please review. Feed a starving author?


	4. Chapter 4

Hm, well, here's the last chapter in These Days. I might end up doing an epilogue or something later. I haven't decided yet. Normally it doesn't take me so long, but I suffered from indecision on how to end this story. I've been working on a couple of other fics and sorta let this one slip for about a week or so. Which isn't really that long of a wait…right? Anyhoo, I hope this was worth the wait. Not too sure about it myself.

Disclaimer: Don't own GW or the song. Both belong to respective owners/creators/writers and all that other good stuff.

If That's What It Takes

_I played the part of a broken heart upon a shelf_

_I played that part so lonely and so well_

_Thought that love belonged to someone else,_

_Not me and you_

_Yeah, I know that you've been shattered,_

_You've been bruised_

_And we both know what it feels like when you lose_

_But I'd bet my life on the roll of the dice for you._

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do_

_Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove that to you_

_Do I have to break down, baby just to break through_

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do_

_If that's what it takes…._

Wufei looked up from the prone figure on the bed as Heero came into the room with some fast food.

"Hey."

"How is he?"

Wufei shook his head. "The same." After well over a week, Wufei feared that the doctor's predictions may come true and Duo might not wake up. Wufei had steadfastly ignored that possible outcome. There were others, too. The doctor said there was a chance of paralysis, too; but they wouldn't know anything until he woke up.

Heero sat on the edge of the bed. "When was the last time you slept?"

Wufei frowned. "Monday."

Heero sighed. "Wufei, its Thursday."

"Hm."

"You need rest."

"I will."

Suddenly, Duo's fingers flinched in his. He looked up to the heart shaped face. Finely shaped eyebrows lowered slightly before bruised lids fluttered. Wufei held his breath as Duo struggled to regain consciousness. Finally, violet eyes opened and glanced around the room before landing on Wufei. Duo stared at him as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Wh-" he licked dry lips and Wufei quickly poured him some water and held the cup to his mouth. After a couple sips, Duo settled back into the pillows. "What happened?"

Wufei ran his fingers down Duo's cheek. "What do you remember?"

"Was leaving some bar. That's all…" He shifter on the bed and froze. "Fei, I… I can't feel my legs." His fingers tightened in Wufei's.

"Calm down, Baby. The doctor said it was a possibility. It might be temporary." Wufei brushed back chestnut bangs. "It'll be all right. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Duo looked up to him. "Fei…I gotta tell you somethin'…I was… unfaithful. I didn't want to, but-"

Wufei nodded. "I know what happened, Duo. You weren't unfaithful. You were used, and I told Une the same, right before I sued for everything she was worth."

Duo's mouth fell open. "You did what?"

"Une was an unfit leader. There are certain lines that should never be crossed, and she forced you to cross them. There had to have been another way, but she didn't give you the choice." He bowed his head. "And I didn't help, either. I always told you that missions had to be accomplished no matter what the cost. I'm sorry, Duo."

Duo closed his eyes. "It wasn't your fault. I should have quit, or let her fire me."

"Well, she's gone now."

"Who's in charge now?"

"I am."

Duo looked up to Heero. "Good."

Heero smiled. "You should have been there, though. Wufei cussed Une out in front of the whole department. Sounded just like you, actually."

Wufei's face reddened as Duo looked back to him.

"I'll get the doctor." Heero offered, stepping out of the room."

_I bet you counted all the tears I bet you've cried_

_I bet you swore you'd never let love back inside_

'_Cause it hurt you way too bad to say good-bye_

_Now, there'll be times when I might put us to the test_

_And it's hard for broken hearts to just forget_

_But I'm driving blind; I'll lay it all on the line for you_

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do_

_Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove that to you_

_Do I have to break down, baby just to break through_

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do_

_If that's what it takes…._

Wufei pushed Duo's wheelchair up the newly built ramp to their front door. The braided man stared around the silver living room with a hint of a smile on his heart-shaped face. He grabbed Wufei's hand, seeking comfort from a pain he wasn't sure he could define. Wufei leaned down and nuzzled his face in Duo's neck.

"It's going to be all right, love."

Duo tilted his head away from the touch. "Don't, Fei."

The Chinese Preventer nodded and pulled away. He settled Duo into their bedroom before leaving to sleep on the couch. He knew it was going to take a while for them to return to the relationship they had had before. But Wufei was determined to show Duo that he still loved him, more than ever. If that meant sleeping on the couch for a year, he'd do it.

The next morning he awoke early and started breakfast before going to check on his lover. His heart caught in his throat when he entered the room. Duo was trying to crawl from the bed into his chair, but it'd rolled and he couldn't reach the handle. Wufei cursed himself for forgetting to put on the brakes and he pushed the chair closer to the bed and reached for Duo.

"No, I can do it, Fei." Determined violet eyes looked up to him. "I can."

Wufei smiled. "I know you can. Breakfast is almost ready. Do you need anything?"

Duo shook his head and turned to pull himself into the chair. When he settled, a ghost of a smile came to his lips. "Small hurdle, but one crossed."

Wufei smiled. "Yeah. Come on, I've got your favorite."

_So, when you feel like jumping,_

_Just when your heart starts pumping_

_When you're standing out on the ledge – staring over the edge_

_I'll be there to talk you down; I'll be there before you hit the ground_

Wufei came in from work, pulling his tie loose as soon as he walked through the door. The smell of barbeque wafted from the kitchen and he smiled. Duo had been home for almost two months, and he was slowly returning to the man Wufei had fallen in love with. His smiles now were genuine, even if it did take more to bring them out. They had yet to talk about the incidents that lead to their problems, but Wufei knew Duo would talk about it when he was ready. The long haired man had promised him, and Duo never lied.

He went into the kitchen where music was blaring from the small radio. Duo was wheeling from one area to next, head bobbing to the music as he opened the oven to check on their dinner. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled.

"Welcome home."

"What's for dinner? Smells wonderful."

"Barbeque chicken, green beans and mashed potatoes." He chewed his lip. "Well, there will be mashed potatoes as soon as you get them down for me. I thought about climbing on the counter, but I figured you'd kill me if you came in and saw that."

Wufei laughed as he reached up into the cabinet. "You're right about that one." He set the box of instant potatoes on the counter and started to fix them himself. "What did you do today?"

"Well, Hilde called and we talked for a while. She's getting married next fall and wants us to come. Uh, Heero called just to say hi. Lessee," he tapped his finger on his chin. "Oh, and my legs started hurting."

Wufei dropped the bowl he was holding and turned quickly. "What?"

Duo nodded with the beginnings of a hopeful smile. "Yeah. It started right here." Duo pointed to the top of his thigh where the paralysis started. "And shot down to my knee."

He grabbed Duo's neck in a strong embrace. "I knew it would be all right."

Duo pulled Wufei close, basking in the warmth that he hadn't felt in months. He dropped his head to Wufei's shoulder and pulled him into his lap. "Fei, we need to talk." He tried to pull away, wanting to look into his lover's eyes, but Duo didn't release him. He took a shuddering breath. "Fei, I want you to know, that I let him touch me some, but I never touched him. And we never…" He coughed slightly. "I didn't sleep with him."

Wufei tugged Duo's braid gently. "I know you didn't. No matter what, I know you'd never cross that line."

"But he did touch me, Fei. And I was so afraid of failing a mission that I let him. I didn't know what you would do if I got fired. And I just didn't want…" He groaned. "I know it was stupid. I know you would rather I quit then allow someone else to touch me. But I just… I'm sorry."

Wufei leaned back, still sitting in Duo's lap. "You're forgiven. Now, what about the orphanage?"

Duo's face paled and he looked away. "It was a catholic orphanage. It looked so much like the one I stayed at. I know there weren't any kids there, but I could have sworn I saw Sister Helen there as it went up in flames. And she was looking at me, asking me why I would do such a thing. I tried to tell her I had to, but she didn't care about that. She just stared at me." His chest heaved with labored breaths. "I couldn't save her again, but this time, I really killed her."

"Duo, look at me." Onyx eyes met wild violet. "She wasn't there, Duo. It was an illusion. You didn't kill her. She loved you, Duo. You weren't to blame for her death then, and no innocents were killed by what you did on that mission. Do you understand me?"

"But, Fei-"

He cupped his hands on Duo's cheeks and violet and onyx met. Once he was sure Duo would listen he nodded. "You were a child; there was no way you could save her then. It's a miracle you lived. Be thankful for what you have, Duo. Don't regret what might have been. She wouldn't want you to do that. She wanted you to live."

Duo nodded slowly. "How do you always know exactly what to say?"

Wufei smiled and kissed Duo softly. "It's my job. I love you."

Violet eyes closed. "I love you, too, Fei." His eyes flew open. "Dinner!"

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do_

_Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove that to you_

_Do I have to break down, baby just to break through_

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do_

_If that's what it takes…_

"I can't believe how well he's doing." Wufei commented to Heero as they watched Duo and Quatre talking.

Heero snorted. "I can. He's always been a fighter and you never knew when to give up." He met Wufei's eyes. "With the two of you together, there was no way you could fail."

Wufei blushed slightly. "I think you give me too much credit."

"No, not really. What the two of you have is obvious to everyone around you. It's passionate. Even when you aren't in the same room, it's obvious. You belong together."

Wufei smiled slightly. "Thank you, Heero."

The Japanese man nodded. Duo glanced their way with a grin and Heero sighed. "Well, I think its time we head out. See you Monday at work."

The house fell to silence as the other ex-pilots said their good byes and left. Duo sat in the living room on the couch, head leaned back and eyes closed. Wufei crossed to him and leaned over the back of the couch. "You tired?"

"No, not really. Tonight was fun. It's been a long time since I had fun like that."

Wufei trailed his fingers up Duo's arms. "Yeah. It has been too long."

Narrowed violet eyes turned to him, something in their depths that brought a sultry smile to Wufei's lips. Not sure who actually instigated it, they both found themselves in a furious kiss that held all the longing, passion, and love that they possessed. Without breaking the kiss, Wufei moved to the front of the couch and straddled Duo's lap. Fingers pulled the band from his hair, letting the silken locks fall about his shoulders. Wufei sighed contentedly as fingers ran through his hair and Duo's lips descended to his neck.

"I've missed you."

"I'm sorry." Duo mumbled it against Wufei's collarbone as he continued unbuttoning his lover's shirt to expose more skin. "I promise we'll never have to miss each other again if I have anything to say about it."

Wufei smiled and pulled Duo's shirt over his head. He had wanted their first time together again to be slow and loving, but as his arousal grew he changed his mind. They had plenty of time for that later. Right now, he just needed his lover like he'd never needed anything before. And by the look in Duo's eyes, he was pretty sure he felt the same way. He hopped up long enough to grab the lube from the bedroom and stripped off his pants before sliding back over Duo's legs. He rubbed his hand down Duo's chest, falling to the trapped arousal in his jeans. Duo hissed.

"Hm, bet that's a little painful, isn't it?"

Duo growled low in his throat as Wufei rubbed him through the thick denim. "You're killing me, Fei."

"Hm." Having mercy on him, Wufei slid down his body and stripped the jeans from Duo's legs. He ran kisses up Duo's thighs and smirked against the skin as Duo moaned out a plea for him to hurry up. He kissed up Duo's chest, suckling a sensitive spot on his neck. "I'm going to make you remember what it was like our first time together."

Duo's head fell back on the back of the couch. "We were slightly tipsy the first time as I recall. And it took you forever to get off…Shit!" A warm hand slowly traced up and down his erection as lips and tongue moved over his chest. Wufei kissed down his chest and looked up to Duo as his tongue grazed the tip of his erection. Duo bit his lip. "I hope… you're not planning a long night… 'Cause I won't last long."

Wufei shook his head and replaced his mouth with a slippery hand, lubing the Duo's length. "Me either. I need you." He pressed his lips to Duo's as he straddled his lap once more. Violet met onyx as Wufei placed his hands on Duo's shoulders, bracing himself. In that moment, they both felt that it was their first time all over again. Nerves warred with passion in Duo's face as his lover stared down at him. Duo couldn't even remember how long it had been since they'd been together. But the last time, he had complete control over his body. Now, his legs weren't functioning and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to satisfy Wufei.

"Fei…"

"I know, don't worry about it. Just let me do the work." He leaned down and kissed Duo in a way that made him forget his anxiety. Slowly, Wufei lowered himself down. A groan escaped him that was a mixture of pleasure and pain. He had opted not to stretch himself, and for a moment he had the passing thought that he might regret that later. But it didn't over ride the feeling of having Duo inside him again. Nothing could make him regret that. He sat all the way back and paused. He needed the time to adjust, but he also relished in the feeling of being filled. It was a feeling he never grew tired of. One that he had been longing for ever since his and Duo's problems had started.

Duo pressed his forehead to Wufei's chest, arms wrapping around his back underneath the shirt he still wore. A small smile came to his lips. Wufei never actually managed to get out of all his clothes when they made love. There was always something left behind. He pulled back and looked up. Wufei was watching him with half lidded eyes, hair framing his face. The white shirt hung off his shoulders, a stunning contrast to his dark skin. He was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"I love you, Fei."

He smiled and rose up slowly and dropped back down, setting a slow pace. "I love you, too." The passion grew quickly, and Duo clenched his teeth, trying to push further up into the tight heat that enveloped him. Wufei's fingers gripped his shoulders tightly; low moans and cries falling from his kiss swollen lips. Duo's hands ran up and down his lover's back, but his eyes stayed on his face. Taking in every expression of passion as Wufei alternated between open mouth gasps and biting his lip to quiet himself. The sight itself was almost enough to send Duo over the edge. One of Wufei's hands left his shoulder and went to his own straining erection and pumped it in time with his thrust. His head fell back, eyes on the ceiling as his climax took him.

Duo felt Wufei tighten around him and groaned as he filled his lover, marking him as his once more. Wufei dropped his forehead to Duo's shoulder, unable to stop tears that filled his eyes as he rode out the last of his orgasm. Duo tightened his hold around his back, as if afraid that if he let go Wufei would disappear. His own tears mingled with Wufei's as their lips met again. Not in a frenzied kiss, but in a slow, lingering kiss that expressed and expelled all their fears. Duo groaned as long, slender fingers pulled the tie from his hair and unwove the braid.

He leaned his head back as Wufei continued playing with his hair while kissing his way up and down Duo's neck. They continued the cuddle, alternating between kissing and talking and silently enjoying the other's presence. Wufei remaining firmly seated on Duo's length, unwilling to part with the contact. "You plan…to stay there… all night?"

He felt the lips on his chest stretch into a lazy smile. "Hm… Actually, that sounds like a good idea." He moved slightly and Duo's breath caught as he felt his reawakening erection against his stomach.

"Insatiable, aren't you?"

"Is that a problem?"

Duo lowered his hand to Wufei's length and rubbed his thumb in gentle circles across the tip. His hips bucked, and Duo gasped as Wufei started moving slowly. "No, I don't have a problem with it. But you won't be able to move tomorrow."

"It's Saturday anyway."

Duo looked up into those dark eyes. "Why?" An eyebrow quirked slightly and Duo looked away. "Why did you take me back?"

Fingers traced down his jaw line. "I promised myself something, Duo. That if I ever found a love worth holding on to, that's what I'd do. I'm not ever letting you go again. If you need me to prove how much I love you every day for the rest of our lives, I will. If you need me to show you every day how precious you are, I will. I'll do whatever it takes to make you understand how much I love you."

Duo bit his lip. "I know you love me."

"Here." Wufei pressed his hand to Duo's forehead. "But here," he put his hand over Duo's heart, "you don't believe you're worthy of it."

Duo grinned slightly. "You always could read me like an open book. Fine, if you want me every day for the rest of your life, I guess I can do that." His grin became full bloom. "Besides, who else could put up with your sex drive?"

Wufei smirked and picked up the pace of his riding. "No one can. Now shut up." And Duo did just that. After all, if the most beautiful man in the world decided he was worth loving, who was he to argue?

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do_

_If we take the time to do it right, I know we'll pull through_

_If it took all my life, I'd prove it to you_

_If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do _

_If that's what it takes…_

The end

Much appreciation to any who would so kindly review my story!


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